B*log

2010-02-11T15:14:00.000-08:00

how do i feel?

2009-12-01T20:13:00.000-08:00

-money sticks to itself
-i'd be happy if i never got an email ever again
-fun tends to be either illegal, expensive, or far away
-i miss girls and stuff
-sometimes feel like a super hero
-i am talking back to the internet
-on the up and up so to speak
-
-give him what for
-time out for fun

adieu, adieu, parting is such dumb sorrow

2009-07-02T16:37:00.000-07:00

i like this because this sam beam character looks remarkably like my brother, kyle, were he maybe just a bit hairier. not to mention its pretty music . also, i love you blogger and thats why i'm leaving. (i can't quit you baby so i'll put you down for a while)

besides i have a 'u' key that sticks.

2009-06-26T18:46:00.000-07:00

i just 'bing'ed 'google'.

goodnight.

don't fucking touch me

2009-06-24T14:15:00.000-07:00

I said, "Doctor, (Doctor!) Mr. M.D., (Doctor!)
Now can you tell me, tell me, tell me,What's ailin' me?"(Doctor !)
He said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Yes, indeed, all you really need is good lovin'!
(as well as this bottle of Sulfacetamide Sodium Opthalmic Solution.")
good lovin'!

you already know too much

2009-06-20T05:24:00.000-07:00

break at work

2009-06-16T13:49:00.000-07:00

drinking coffee and rainwater in even ratio, [the coffee for the antioxidant properties, rain for the oxidants] and the kid says to me over the din
"this gets repetitive"
"yep".

2009-06-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

"But the need," she protested, "it's void. What can fill that?"
He cocked his head and grinned at her. "What is already filling it. The real thing"
-Thomas Pynchon

Quitting Cigarettes is very hard. But if this works out, I'm counting on you to not let me be one of the preachy ones.

[it kind of feels like your soul really has to pee and your best bud just up and disappeared]

2009-06-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

cinnamon surrogate cigarette

yep

2009-06-03T17:37:00.001-07:00

another dumb clean joke plus new 'interactive' epilogue!

2009-06-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

I was driving home and imagining a picture to myself. The picture was of myself [a favorite subject, is this not why I have a blog after all?] It wasn’t really an exciting picture, but I was imagining it hard and that’s what counts. Though I suppose driving home is a sort of bad time to be really imagining anything or fully delving into daydreams, etc in the first place. But anyhow I was and a little bored, and a little lonely too [is this not yet another reason I have a blog?] And in the picture of myself I was wearing cowboy boots. I am not sure why, maybe it was because of the hillbilly music the radio was playing. At any rate, I’m driving home and picturing this and I’m thinking to myself, “Jesus, I look silly, who wears cowboy boots with shorts?!”

Hyuk hyuk hyuk.

Your turn to imagine a picture of me:

In real life once I wore black-loafers-with-no-socks-and-shorts-and-short-sleeves -and-a-tie to a wedding because it was the groomsmens’ “uniform” and I had to. I was a little fat then.

Looks like Baby Huey or something right?

Okay bye!
-Keith Dubya

so

2009-06-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

i stained a dock, i am proud of myself.

2009-05-28T12:18:00.000-07:00

"I feel like a fuckin', i don't know- like a buzzard or somethin'"

This Seems Fun

2009-05-27T04:56:00.000-07:00

To read. not do. I guess

can no get nuff again

2009-05-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

mt. eerie, still

they don't write 'em like they used to

2009-05-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

[thank heavens]

or 'summer anthem'? if you prefer:

speaking of matchsticks
here is a ukulele some old man made out of them and then later put images of it onto the internet-

speaking of all of this, here is a picture of nicholas cage-

lost weekend

2009-05-19T19:23:00.000-07:00

so you remember that feeling you get when you're all set to go someplace, lets say, church or a wedding, you're all dressed up and ready and trying not to fuck up the creases in your pants, et cet. but it's not time to go yet really so you're just fucking around sitting all antsy on the couch in your tie and theres not enough time to even get into anything or go out and play so you just kind of sit there? yep.

in other news: i've got this box of fruity pebbles which i should finish because they're getting stale. [ps. i've been cutting them with grape nuts in a sort of half-assed, albeit tasty attempt at healthfulness]

i swear to god

2009-05-15T16:01:00.000-07:00

this seriously pretty much sums up a tattoo commission i got

2009-05-14T16:39:00.001-07:00

what does it mean

2009-05-12T19:26:00.000-07:00

when a black cat crosses your path but that black cat was being assaulted by another which was interrupted in the process by your very path-crossing? whoah, how about it? reading too much into things? yes but why not. my boss read me my horoscope the other day and i'm thinking 'oh great, just what i need...more hoodoo superstitious nonsense mucking up blah blah blah' but the horoscope said people would be complimenting me willy nilly so i adopted the ol' willful suspension of disbelief and had a blast.

also-minor scrapes and burns, minor monetary tragedies, will they mind if i brush my teef at work?, proud of 'cutting back' to about a pack a day, googling 'e-cigarettes', 'lateen rig', and 'steve prule prom'.

NO BIG DEAL, SUHVIVIN'

here is a haiku

happy-dumb smiling,
trudgin through ugly nonsense
oh boy, supper time!

Resume Transmission

2009-05-11T14:25:00.001-07:00

because i did something cool [e-dentity crisis]

bare styrofoam hull, contrived rudder pin, duct-taped sail >>> Manic Monday

dear diary [thanks j.j. abrams]

2009-05-03T05:20:00.001-07:00

yesterday after work i drove some golf balls at a golf ball driving range and two little boys laughed at me. it hurt my feelings a little but at least they didn't try to rob me. i am bad at golf. later on i fell out of a tree. it was a good day!

here is a fun exchange:
"because you're good like that?"
"duh, if it's good, i'm like it-- most of the time"

there was also pizza and plenty of good old fashioned joking-around. i sure love springtime but bedtime is still scary sometimes. i've been streaming old episodes of LOST so that i don't have to think about myself, which is healthier and cheaper than getting blind drunk and just passing out. hoo-ray!
i have to go to work now, bye.
love,
keith dubya bush

2009-04-30T07:28:00.001-07:00

xtra, xtra read allah bout me!

2009-04-25T14:44:00.000-07:00

[miraculous leisure!] all that i sort of dream for ever and try so hard at attaining happens on accident!

way late on reading cause using amazon.com is not always the best choice [just go out and get it, you bum].
order finally arrives and the weather is gorgeous, decide "make a day at th'beach of it". pot of coffee into backyard and read the whole damn thing out there. romance of solitude
[nelson's 'Steel Drivin' Man, the untold story of an american legend'].
breaking only when max comes out to demonstrate a 'Dra-no Bomb' [Dra-no sink un-clogger poured into empty water bottle with a some tin foil crumpled up and dropped in]. awesome, and surprising explosion that left a molten smoldering stinky mess. just take a break from academics for a bit good old fashioned american fun.
days rule go outside, there was also a bumble bee that buzzed around above my right shoulder for a good portion of the afternoon like some fairy creature from an old nintendo RPG video game. spring time.

please excuse manic-dumbness in grammar and also the brevity. i am a very busy man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love, keith w. bush

ps. for music fun that you're sort of ashamed of:
either
a- google and stream radio show called 'the many moods of ben vaughn'
b- make an 'against all authority' pandora station.

you'll lose your cool points but its worth it, you jerk.
okay bye

wow

2009-04-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

2009-04-15T15:33:00.000-07:00

this is profoundly stupid

TRY THIS

2009-04-07T12:54:00.000-07:00

thumb around a while thru a book of mediocre poetry with somebody else's reading glasses on.
it's like drugs.

"The blue light was my blues-

2009-04-06T06:43:00.000-07:00

the red light was my mind,
[all my loves in vain]"

real feel good shit, right?

so one afternoon, still feeling hopelessly hung over and with nothing much to do i realize 'holy shit, the fucking internet's broken!'
yeah, use your pretty little imagination, you'd be bummed too right?
so i despair for a while, weep for several hours, and finally content myself to get real heavy into television, whatever.
point is, next day i realize it's back. the internet is back and better than ever!
'internet, what happened? you were always so feeble. free, yes. that was nice of you. but always an unreliable twerp. whats the secret to your new efficiency, your talent?" i ask.

'well keith, you see i wen' down the crossroads at midnight, where'pon i was met with legba hisself. first, i nearly lost my nerve an' fled when i seen his big red eyes, and balls o' fire spillin from his mouth, but i worked up the courage. we struck a deal, a trade, a bargain...my soul for fa-cil-it-y...'

physically, internet doesn't seem to have undergone any changes- is perhaps a little jumpier than i remember. anxious as hell as a matter of fact.
he didn't dwell on the subject of his 'deal', but did woefully mention later that now his own mama won't even speak with him. "chased me straight off the front porch", he said.
i'm not sure what to make of all this, really. am not even certain i believe it. the internet does has a tendency to embellish the truth when it's not completely making things up.
just thought this was noteworthy, and am just reporting the events as they were put to me.
-but wondering whether or not to pray for the poor guy, would it even do him any good?

a bumper sticker/t-shirt idea

2009-03-30T07:44:00.000-07:00

"drop your parents' money - not bombs"

you can have this idea, free, to use and stuff. it's all yours because i am lazy or not that into it in the first place. but you'll probably make a shit ton of money if you target the proper demographic- namely,"the new college left"
good luck, knucklefuck!

2009-03-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

“The holy dove was moving too…”

But oh well. “Oh well”- indeed. The PG “Fuck it”- a sigh of begrudging acceptance, draped over a feeble linguistic armature- Acceptance of what, exactly? The unavoidable, of course. “Oh well”- the heathen’s serenity prayer. “Oh well”- the tragic punctuation to a noble effort. “Oh well” is never for the victorious, it is never celebratory. The seven priests with seven horns did not “oh well” at the terrible destruction that they wrought. “Oh well” is seldom heard at a wedding. We do not receive “Oh well” cards on birthdays or graduations. On and on.
But as noted, “Oh well” often follows a certain amount of “…but not for lack of trying”, or sometimes the old “…at least we had a good run there, though, huh?” Hope, potentiality for greatness, trying, etc often precede the utterance. And there’s something in that at very least. Furthermore, said “punctuation” is more than just overly-romantic drivel (I hope). Be the “Oh well” a curt and dignified period, or exclamatory (though have you ever heard an inquisitive “Oh well?”) what is sure is that it connotes a full stop.
A full stop and onward. We could here delve into “endings as new beginnings”, which is a nice thought, though by now a bit threadbare. I’ll spare us both.
Oh well.
But to be sure, the things that are unceasingly snatched out from under our noses are not always treasures. And that which we find dropped into our very laps often turns out to be shit. For each “Oh well” there’s a “Hell yes”. (Though, this of course isn’t empirically true so to speak, many of us enjoy a comfortably balanced ratio. And besides, that shit was rhetorical gold, baby).

But again, what is it exactly that I’m getting at here?
Typing, duh.

“Hallelujah”

Typing when I probably ought to be drawing- drawing when I ought to be taking notes- but on the whole somehow managing to “git’er’done” in some strange manner.

So umm, how are you?

Dilly-Dallying Hither and Thither

2009-03-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

Lately shit, or rather "things", in general are strange. And while I often tend to embrace said strangeness, cultivate it even, it seems to have reached maximum capacity-- Crossed the splintered threshold into complete incomprehensibility. Seeing that the situation is too weird to assimilate by any normal human capacity, I've consulted several mystics on the matter. One emerged from his trance weeping and refused to speak with me any further.
Another, who after several minutes of poring over her tarot cards, was only able to mutter "go fish".
All were dumbfounded.
Seeking guidance in more practical arenas has proved equally fruitless. My physician simply referred me to the nearest Wine & Spirits. I turned even to my very own grandmother, who instead of her usual words of kindness and encouragement, told me [very kindly, gingerly, grandmotherly...to go fuck myself]

So having taken the advice of each of the latter, and finding myself confused as ever, I at long last devised what I consider to be a brilliant new "tack" from which to approach the problem on the whole. While this new method is not without its share of kinks to work out and by no means answers any questions, it seems promising in its ability to alleviate the pains of existential freak-outs, general feelings of "stop-the-world-i-wanna-get-off", catholic guilt, etc.

I've entitled the aforementioned "tack" , "The Keith Bush Method". It is a relatively simple concept and is easily employed. Upon his/her decision to adopt "The Keith Bush Method", the individual performs first a brief ritual whereupon they select and prepare their own favorite sandwich. They are then instructed to [important: on the diagonal] cut their sandwich in half and select one of the halves to eat. As soon as they finish partaking of their half, the other remaining is cut once more [this time by the proctor, who as is explained now should be viewed as a physical representation of "the incomprehencible drag"] The proctor then, without asking permission or expressing gratitude, helps himself to one of the portions and smears the other into the individuals face and hair. This should be done with nonchalance, the proctor is encouraged to here remain as aloof and cool as possible. The ritual here ends when the individual [belly full and tastes satisfied, in spite of his ridicule, etc] is asked whether or not they would "Like to give dessert a whirl?"
Whether this offer is accepted or declined makes no difference, as here [important: before the individual chooses] the newly-initiated is clubbed and returned safely to their bed before consciousness is regained. Indeed, in many cases, the process leaves the individual more confounded than ever. But this is perhaps where the success of this method lies. They find themselves blessed with the newfound knowledge that the "search for meaning" is often way-strange and messy- more trouble than its worth, and while that wacky sandwich ritual may have been like, "kinda symbolic, y'know?" that they ought to lighten up and give less of a shit lest they find themselves in some weirder sort of mess. there are more pragmatic things to worry about after all...

like how in the hell you're going to pay off enormous dental bills, for instance.

allow me to describe my face to you.
Mutilated? Grotesque? I've just returned from the dentist, where I had tiny bits of road removed from one tooth, and a total of three filed down and totally reconstructed. They somehow managed to put them in pre-nicotine stained, much to my relief. But while the problem of looking like a cartoon of a hillbilly is solved, I'm afraid that only time and copious amounts of triple antibiotic ointment will take care of the overall spookiness of my aspect. When describing the situation to my boss, he replied, "So you look like a boxer? Thats kinda cool".
I do not look like a boxer.
Unless of course the boxer was had at with a cheese grater.
Oh well.

"Come Hither, Hope"

2009-03-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

dear internet-
You're a rotten, sluggish, toxic creep. But i mean, what is there to be done?-- you're so damned cuddly. While this by no means excuses you of the good old fashioned protestant scorn-fest which you've long deserved, your humming, fuzzy warmth does buy you some time. I'm in a good mood. Who knows, maybe you'll shape up by the time this issue has time to be righteously dealt with. And besides, you do have a very likable tendency to "come in handy" and perhaps even will before i'm through here:

-but get this-
after a brief and surprisingly smooth conversation [by which i mean jocular, amiable, and not overly steeped in "awk-sauce", as they say] conversation with one Captain Ray Williamson, i had the pleasure to be sure that my until-then-presupposed Maine sailing exodus/apprenticeship was in fact a reality- a reality that which unlike many of its other manifestations is worth being elated about.
In any case, our dialogue wrought the following

- a “ballpark” departure to Maine in mid-July, for a “ballpark” one month’s responsibilities as an apprentice messmate aboard an eighteenth century schooner. All the details I’ve been given regarding said responsibilities are:

- that time with them isn’t “a vacation”. [which luckily for both parties, I had not assumed] I take a certain amount of dumb-pride in labor. I can after all justify my employment with the Pretzel Factory by this mentality. An example that the Captain gave of my tasks was “uhh, y’know….peeling potatoes. Things like that”. I’m even excited for such stereotypically repetitive crap-work such as this. It’s romantic if nothing else. I do however hope that other, more exciting tasks are delegated to me. Could you imagine the comedy of getting up there to find that peeling various fruits and vegetables made up the whole of my work load? Anyhow…

-I’ve got to bring the uke:

When I had given my name and inquired whether or not he had a chance to review my resume, the Captain replied, “Ohh yeah, you’re the ukulele guy?” –

“Ha, yep. That’s me..blablabla, you know… just uhh, simple old rock-and-roll progressions..blablabla”.

I had mentioned the ukulele under the “Interests” subheading, knowing that crew and passengers alike are encouraged to bring whatever instruments that they might play. Capt. Williamson explained he had purchased a baritone uke on a trip to Hawaii and gave me specific instructions to learn some “Old Hawaiian tunes” to teach him.

The extent of my ability wasn’t discussed very far, but I’m pretty sure that our good Captain might believe me to be far more talented than I am. While this is nerve-wracking, it will at least give me the motivation to finally become more-than-half-proficient-at-best with the thing. I can take a challenge.

As is evident, the whole plan remains vague…I’ve relayed to you all the details I’ve been given. But my still-nebulous perception of it [lack of many important specifics, really] is by no means discouraging. One thing is solid- that they’re planning on me. The red tape and other details are bridges to be crossed when they’re gotten to. Until then I suppose I should day-dream, bone up on my knots etc., and annoy some roommates and neighbors.

www.mainewindjammercruises.com ought to fill you in on some of this goodness.

I’m sure I’ll report more as it progresses.

Internet, you’re lucky, you know that? I mean, not only are you cuddly and sometimes convenient, you’ve also help sate one of the basic and inherent needs of a young, ‘livin’ in the future’ male such as myself---the old vanity. Who else but you would entertain my horse-shit for this long? Bless your little heart.

Love,

Keith

2009-03-10T04:40:00.000-07:00

"hi, my name is keith bush, i applied for your summer apprenticeship and was umm, just wondering if you had a chance to look over my resume..."
"ohh, sorry. we've been a bit behind. captain ray had a skiing accident and hasn't been in the office. but what's your telephone number...etc?"

-basically still playing the waiting game. but the 'skiing accident' i guess helps calm my nerves about the whole thing--if it only serves to humanize the man who has my summer in his hands.

knock on wood, dudes. the lady called me back to let me know she had dug up my resume.
the questions of how large the pile is from which it was dug out, and how qualified mine makes me out to be are still up in the air.
but the whole thing is beginning to feel closer.
i was losing hope there for a while.
who knows?

otherwise-- rowing upstream yesterday, found it enormously difficult. not at all like how i remember. have i fallen hopelessly out of shape? or is the current just increasing in strength? i'd wager it's a combination of both. i haven't gotten out since late september. and the docks, which spent most of winter resting on the banks are floating again. furthermore, at some point in the course of the night, the beached christmas tree was washed away. i'm looking at this as a weird mystic symbol for the departure of winter, and the inevitable following spring.

i've been tracking mud through the house ever since, and i shaved my head all over the kitchen floor.

messy messy.

2009-03-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

"Reality is subjective, and there's an unenlightened tendency in this culture to regard something as 'important' only if it's sober and severe. Your Cheerful Dumb are not so much happy as lobotomized. But your Gloomy Smart are just as ridiculous. When you're unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. And you get to take yourself oh so very seriously. Your truly happy people, which is to say, your people who truly LIKE themselves, they don't think about themselves very much. Your unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling on himself and start paying attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence." -Tom Robbins

sleep deprivation, peels depravity, part two?

2009-02-25T06:55:00.000-08:00

Walking home under the old Uptown theater and were there any stars inside they'd have soul. But it's been long boarded up and now painted brown.
And were there any stars in the sky you'd make some sort of self-serving wish on one. You've learned to do this from Jimminy Cricket as a little boy.
"Hey young mayn, c'you hyepp me out wit some chaynn?"
Were there any chaynn in your pocket you probably would have hyepped her out. But just moments ago you realized the chaynn you were carrying was exactly enough to pay for exactly one plain McDouble, so you figured what the hell, right? And you spent it on a plain McDouble.
And were there anything in your head, anything, it'd be brilliant, you're thinking to yourself.

Tee-U!

2009-02-11T05:44:00.001-08:00

how's about tellin a story.

2009-02-06T07:48:00.000-08:00

there is a huge flock of weird birds having a weird bird conference on our block. they've got a brindle-y coat of feathers and i want to call them warblers, because that's what they're doing.
they seem out of place, or generally confused.

last night my mom told me she dreamed that i had a lap full of foxes and i was breaking their jaws. one after the other.
now whaddya make of that, huh?

2009-02-04T09:42:00.000-08:00

"Be afraid of not feeling very much."
William T. Wiley

the things i do to make the drive from work home go by a little more quickly.

2009-01-27T05:14:00.000-08:00

there is also something about putting all of your eggs into one basket as a labor-saving technique in the process of counting all of your chickens before they hatch.--- which is just as dumb. [see: "a bad joke. but a clean one. below].

but before you go thinking something like, "that's not funny": whats really not funny is the sound of i-swear-to-god a crying dog like right outside your window. or the funeral parlor on the corner where sometimes coming home from work you see them carting a body around under a maroon blanket.
christ, man.
stay positive.

a bad joke. but a clean one

2009-01-24T15:09:00.000-08:00

I remember as a child, my father who late in the evening, after several whiskeys and just before retiring to bed, had a habit of emptying the change from his trouser pockets. Then removing the pennies, he would wander around the house and delicately place them heads-up in any odd place, beside the third banister on the stair, next to his left shoe, peeking out from under the rug in the hall, etc. Then in the morning he would pick them all up again and place them back into his pocket. Once, I suppose as soon as I was old enough to realize the peculiarity of it, I asked him why he went through this ritual each morning and night. He put me on his lap and said to me, “Keith, a man makes his own good luck”.

day off

2009-01-19T07:16:00.001-08:00

day off, originally uploaded by keithrobertbush.

Shove self-righteous douchebaggery up the ass of dismissive snobbishness.
Give yourself a headache.
Build a perpetual leisure machine.
Dream about red ink.
Imagine yourself on a boat.
Forget yourself, Fuck yourself.
Over-indulge in self-denial?
Chain-smoke and to hell with your own ideas.
Make big plans for yourself. Go downstairs.
Jibe!
Get rid of your headache.
Forget over and over to brush your teeth.
Bundle up, fart, and pretend.
Feel dumb-lazy-crazy. Tomorrow won’t.
Miss your brother.
Redesign your machine.
Reef. Realize they’re all huge flakes.
You are too. Laugh at it.
Get down to the significance of the wall-eyed cat.
If any.
Too much time on your hands? Wipe it off on the internet.
Shit, man.

more griping

2009-01-12T14:04:00.001-08:00

more griping, originally uploaded by keithrobertbush.

Dear Philly Wi-Fi,
I heard this thing recently about you crashing. crapping out, if you will. If there is any truth to this, it means that what I am currently picking up here is some sort of mysterious residual signal thats just floating around. I'm scraping the bowl here, milking it dry, whatever. But i've opened the window to aid in the flow of the spare little internet particles ino the house and to the tin-foil antenna that i've devised and attached to my spare USB port. but then again, i'm no scientist, and don't know anything about how any of this really works.
it's like that chicken soup thing when you have a cold. it might not help, but hell, it couldn't hurt right? I should tell you, philly wifi, that i think i lifted that chicken soup adage from some sort of womens' aging-gracefully-and-keeping-a-stylish-home type of magazine that i found at my mother's house. but she's aging okay, if you ask me, and her home is simply gowahgeous, so they've got some credibility to me, y'know?
jesus...
so what am i getting at here? couldn't tell ya, really. just having some coffee and planning my next move, which invariably begins with going out back for a cigarette and chasing off the gang, [flock?, gaggle?, murder?, pod?] of stray cats who gather in our back yard. i think the one that looks like garfield is the "peter pan" to their "lost boys". he's certainly the biggest. and his makeshift throne made out of fishbones further supports this assumption.
Note- we think one of them [the cats] infiltrated the house somehow.
Oh well, so i mean, is there any sort of cohesive, or in any way noteworthy thing to tell you about my most recent happenings and misadventures? lessons learned? profound insight gained?
well, for one thing. Do not body-slam your house guests. this is just poor hospitality.
Furthermore, do not spend too much time thinking about anything that has ever happened to you, anyone you've ever met, etc. Ever, this will do nothing but bum you out. conciousness is a bitch sometimes, and you can easily avoid it by reading constantly about other people's experiences, or sleeping. oftentimes the former helps ease you into the latter. If neither of these methods works, get drunk [quietly, and alone] or fuck around on the internet [but be careful to ration what's left of it].

PS. a package just came for maxwell, from CHINA. it's got chinese all over the box. I have every reason to believe this package contains a real live tattoo machine. keep yr fingers crossed. and come pay us money to mark you all up.
i have a steady hand, promise.

go fuck yourself,
keith

PHILLY WI-FI

2009-01-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

2008-12-29T07:13:00.001-08:00

"Hello?"
"Hey"
"Sup?"
"Not much, lissen, I've got this dead horse on my hands here, wanna come help me beat the lving christ out of it?"

STEADY CHASIN' THAT PAPER

2008-12-23T12:42:00.000-08:00

Dear DAIRY,
-my eye drops got cold and the view from outside my window has a color scheme of orange and green.
I owed the bank three hundred dollars and now I owe my father three hundred dollars.
-what’s beautiful? A sunrise. What’s ridiculous? Twisting pretzels and watching the sun rise over the seven eleven. What’s beautifully ridiculous? Writing a blog about it later.
What’s just sad? Owing your father three hundred dollars.
My hands could be described as looking “ashy” these days, with bloody little nooks where I’ve nicked them on things. Like hands of a little old homeless lady in the right light. It’s weird and neat and all, but something needs to be done. I have nail clippers though. And moreover, a proper place in which I keep them.
I also want my room to smell like something. Domesticity and Hygiene.
And it’s Christmas soon and tomorrow I get to pick up my Uncle at the airport. There is a fun sort of romance in picking someone up at an airport. Active participation in a real-life “Home for the Holidays” drama. I’ll be looking forward to this until just moments before I have to actually leave and basically drive to the fucking airport on Christmas eve.
FORTUNE COOKIE from STEVE; the message inside- “Be broke or be wealthy, but never accept mediocrity”.
I owe my father probably way more than three hundred dollars.
By what standards to I judge mediocrity? Whose?
this is heavy business, but no time for that now. I need to bundle the hell up and find the nearest mailbox.

PS> all B's and two pluses in there this semester. I'm content. at very least there aint nothin mediocre about the END of that nightmare. guhbye, good morning, happy holla daze you knuckleheads.

can no get nuff

2008-12-21T08:30:00.000-08:00

kyle

2008-12-18T07:26:00.001-08:00

kyle, originally uploaded by keithrobertbush.

check out this hero

2008-12-16T13:35:00.000-08:00

Temple, When will you be angelic? When will you take off your clothes?
har har har
but seriously.

[on a quest for unutterably profound and never before attained levels of funkiness and leisure?

why yes i am, funny you should mention...but where does a guy like me find the time in todays topsy-turvy, bizzy-wizzy world?

why, winter break!]

in my life, i've never experienced anything more emotionally taxing and psychically rigorous than laziness.
.true courage.

The Hilarious Case of the Bum Drum, et cet.

2008-12-09T09:02:00.000-08:00

notable recent happenings:

-resurgence of badminton
-inexplicable constipation
-failed "Bum Fire" and cocoa night, as the bum drum which Max procured evidently used to be a trash can---acrid fumes in the yard. [Cheltenham Twp. Parks]
-successful cranberry-raisin muffins with a hint of orange peel
-process ad nauseum
-basement spray paint factory- sticky gray fingers
-missing keg tap? Reward if found
-waning terror
-constant tea
-impending yet almost tragically overdue raise
-"Taste of Willow Grove" -paid to eat free cookies and drink free Stella in santa claus hats
-completely fucking upside-down sleep cycles
-hanging ten on the academic wagon, basically

at any rate, there's this. which is hilarious if not helpful:
"I shit on the chest of fun"
-Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

honk honk honk honk, okay bye

Love,
Keithy Bushy

What does it mean about things:

2008-12-07T19:23:00.000-08:00

-when the half-empty mug of mulled wine on your bookshelf which has been there for days because you were too lazy to take it downstairs is rationalized after the fact as,
-some sort of weird hippy-dippy cryptic message to yourself, a warning:
To not over-imbibe in things like mulled wine because mulled wine is one of many possible causal factors to:
---the several-day, post wine gastrointestinal discomfort, a general “wigginess” of the belly
[but are more convinced that the left-over fried won ton had more to do with this whole business].
And-
In actuality were just too lazy and probably ought to have more important things to be thinking about, jeezuz, what’s the matter with you…?

christmas card

2008-12-02T18:03:00.001-08:00

christmas card, originally uploaded by keithrobertbush.

barrelling up the highway listening to 'the sultans of swing'

2008-12-02T11:35:00.000-08:00

because it's your mother's birthday which provides a good excuse but you would have done this anyhow.
and also because it's taco tuesday over at the mineral springs hotel even though you don't particularly even like tacos.so you'll probably order a cheesesteak.
and then your mom convinces you to order some french fries too, so she can pick at them when she's finished her taco or two, except this time you'll be clever and when she asks for some fries you give her some fries and say something like, "happy birthday mom, there ya go". and push the big ass basket of beer battered french fries. and the mineral springs hotel is supposed to be haunted [though you've seen no evidence of this] and theres also an old man who sits at the corner who calls your parents "kids" and looks at you and says i guess that makes me your grandpa, and you say "well nice to meet you then, grandpa" even though you've met your grandpa a whole bunch of times.
[this guy still owes you a "tullamore dew" from when you met him the first time]
but at any rate this is what you're doing for what seems like no reason until you remember it's your mother's birthday. but the sultans of swing is on the radio because it's really either that or U2 or somesuch right now.
then you'll think about how you used to wonder around now [somewhere between the sheonersville road exit and the billboard with the very attractive young woman riding on a stationary bike] how high the river was or if you had it in you to make it up past the bridge today.
but instead now you're wondering whether or not that guy will make good on his tullamore dew. it's taco tuesday and you realize you've only brought half of your necessary homework home and you've switched the radio to the U2 station without really even wanting to and you realize 'aww shit i'm listening to U2 why the hell am i driving up the highway listening to the god damned radio?' and then you tell yourself that it's your mother's birthday and that you would have been doing this anyhow. besides, the dog will be excited to see you and you've been excited to hang out with the dog. and you're thinking of all the nice things you can do on your mother's birthday because you'll get there early enough to start a nice fire and get the place all comfy for when your mother gets home from work and you can empty the ashtrays and get the mail and be generally a good kid. even though you're homework isn't getting done tonight you're a good kid, you're convincing yourself. and then you switch the radio station again [this time on purpose] and hear something like

"As I climb the golden stairway up yonder
And life's journey on this Earth is o'er
As I cross the Great Divide
Will they welcome me inside
With my yodel lay-eee-ooh-my-lay-eee-tee
Yodel lay-dee-ay-dee-ooh-my-lay-dee-tee
Will there be any yodeling in heaven
Ooh-lay-dee-dee-dee-dee
And the heavens above
Will they sing the songs we love
While I yodel lay-dee-eee-ooh-my lay-dee-tee"

and you then realize the river's too high anyhow and are glad you won't have to lug your backpack and things upstairs. you're a good kid and the house will be toasty as hell when you're mother gets home.

2008-11-30T07:46:00.000-08:00

2008-11-29T14:48:00.000-08:00

terrified of cable.

2008-11-26T11:49:00.000-08:00

Audience?

2008-11-22T05:53:00.000-08:00

last night: i dreamed i had a Facebook.
this morning: i got rear-ended.
tonight: new environmental context for rampant self-involvement?

so how are you?

i love the internet again

2008-11-20T16:30:00.001-08:00

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

honkycat

2008-11-20T09:39:00.001-08:00

honkycat, originally uploaded by keithrobertbush.

dear professor,
i am writing to apologize for my absence from class this morning. while i understand that regular lecture attendance and classwork are important to my academic success, for some reason i decided that it would be best to stay home and just paint an elton john so.......

2008-11-18T09:15:00.000-08:00

2008-11-17T09:32:00.001-08:00

a brief history of humanity, originally uploaded by keithrobertbush.

2008-11-17T09:25:00.001-08:00

hell1, originally uploaded by keithrobertbush.

2008-11-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

2008-11-13T09:21:00.001-08:00

[MRSTOMSERVO: why

you are going crazy i think

ME: what?

why?

MRSTOMSERVO: i dont know

i could go for some chicken nuggets or something today]

then there's this thing i found

seafaring daydreams / C fearing nightmares

2008-11-11T05:09:00.001-08:00

also today: [cross yr. fingers, etc.] lease signing
also today:[weird] my design teacher was somehow hung up on the delusion that i was in a band, which he kept making reference to. at one point I had to say, "I am NOT in a band, man", but he kept at it anyhow. He is kind of old. Then he said something like, "he looks kinda like that guy from New Jersey, who is that guy from New Jersey". a classmate said, "Bon Jovi?" and he said "yeah, Bon Jovi".
today did not start well.

all week

2008-11-09T12:29:00.001-08:00

collaborations with natasha "mrs. tom servo" smith

2008-11-05T17:58:00.000-08:00

2008-11-04T12:17:00.001-08:00

national uncertainty day.
or
"agitated? well why not, you some kinda shithead?" day.
if you prefer

take this:
if more than half of america is more than half as much of a cunt as it's been acting like more than half of the time, we're fucked.
insert list of synonyms for gloom:

but things could go either way.

2008-11-03T08:57:00.001-08:00

Dear Diary,

[ My other BLOG exists in reality].
It is currently undergoing some routine maintenance, so I can’t really get in there right now, y’know?
But I got a peek. Let me tell you all about it.
Currently, there are several little green men with leaf-blowers tidying up,
Blowing Goethe’s Caramel Crème wrappers and cigarette butts into neat little piles while others apply some sort of egg wash to the whole shebang. The intent here is a nice sort of glossiness, understated, but still an attractive milky sheen.
We’re thinking what the hell? While we’re, you know, on the job and all, may as well give it a complete overhaul.
Our best typographical designers have been commissioned, and are presently working on a whole new font. It will taste like honey with hints of freeze-dried berries in the morning, and slowly grow more acidic as the day progresses, the top-notes eventually yielding entirely to a caustic and tinny bouquet around 11pm, at which point it will begin to glow in the dark and become illegibly vibratory- and slowly. Very, Slowly- totally tasteless.
It’s sure to be incredible, or at least note-worthy. It ought to be, as we’re pulling out all the stops and this of course is not cheap.
There will be no corners. We’re rounding off all the edges with a sort of fingernail clipper, a huge one. The rationale in this instance is safety. Note: already two of our best little green men have made official notices of bodily injury due to the overall pointiness of the BLOG. But thankfully, we have good lawyers, and besides have been inspired by these mishaps (though purely caused by negligence to safety and improper point-precaution on the individuals’ own behalf) to make the necessary changes. The result will be a more inviting, rotund, and completely non-hazardous environment.
Things will also be more pink, generally. [“pinker”, is the proper grammar, but sounds kind of shitty to say. “More pink” simply has a prettier ring to it. Much like our Plan for the BLOG, beauty over propriety]
But yes, pervading pinkness. Warmth.
We’ve also decided that things were on the whole too gloomy in there, after a lengthy deliberation we’ve decided the best solution is to do away with the Header entirely and replace it with a bay window. It will not overlook much, but the idea of “bay window” is appealing enough.
The BLOG will have stadium seating, for your convenience, you won’t miss a damned thing. The BLOG will periodically advertise this blog, and vice versa, why not?
There are also plans for a GADGET, it will generate isms and ologies and inspirational quotes from various people who are famous for thinking and saying them. There will be pictures of said famous people. From what I understand, many of them are bearded. Not satisfied? No problem, the gadget can be refreshed as many times as you need, til something suits your fancy. Try ‘em on for size.
It will be charitable somehow. It will take itself VERY seriously.
The BLOG will not put up with its own shit. However, housewives and cats will now be welcome.

2008-11-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

also this is great:

2008-10-30T17:34:00.000-07:00

2008-10-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

why the internet is magic

2008-10-28T09:22:00.000-07:00

letters to walken

http://www.brandonbird.com/seinfeld2.html

instead: part II

2008-10-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

oxford, chesapeake, tread avon

cutts and case workshop interior

et cet

an aside: that big ''jawn'' is the MYSTIC from Connecticut (three masted square-topsail schooner).

INSTEAD

2008-10-25T16:39:00.000-07:00

2008-10-24T20:35:00.000-07:00

today sure was swell!

i found a heads up dime that was the color of a heads up penny.

that equals like, 10 heads up pennies!

SLOWNESS

2008-10-15T12:54:00.000-07:00

Q: are professors jerking off their own brain on YOUR TIME?
feeling generally ANTSY?
wrecked on the lee shore of FUN?
can't get down to brass tacks?

SOLUTION:
skip town with several books, get stuck in traffic, crawl up a river a little while. smell like fall and moldy life vests, make a delicious sandwich (for the dog to steal half of, but what the hell, right?)
read while sipping at reheated coffee.
make your work work for you, work without realizing it, work out of doors, then bring it back inside, don't think about your work, work later, work a bit now, take a break from work, then another, half-ass your work. tell your work to go fuck itself, apologize to your work, (it is a forgiving thing, after all, it needs you like you need it). work til work works you, tell your work a joke, work out.
reheat some more coffee.

This is "Git'r'done" country and i'm Git'n'it'together.

Back to work.

"better to have loafed and lost than to never have loafed at all"
---James Thurber

also go see phil elvrum cartoons -similar to that other one up there

semi-thematic nonsense/ creeping gloom

2008-10-12T08:52:00.000-07:00

BEING AND FUNKINESS

2008-10-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

it is very important that you see this

2008-10-05T08:28:00.000-07:00

daydreamin

2008-10-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

no art no nothin
just twisting pretzels like writing an epic poem about philadelphia in a language that nobody knows

2008-09-26T07:48:00.000-07:00

M

T

W

R

F

CANT THINK NO BRAIN

2008-09-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

hey, are you patient?
check it...

its wacky and boring and spooky and pretty

Graham Roumieu

2008-09-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

The Great Motivator

2008-09-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

old stuff, new stuff, this stuff

2008-09-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

AWCRAPALYPSE

2008-09-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

2008-09-10T06:57:00.000-07:00

"Goats are currently devouring downtown L.A."

this is what i heard out of context on the news this morning.
Weird cartoon images, you know? Nightmarish scenes of a goat apocalypse.

"don't goats eat trash?", i'm thinking, "wow, how apropos.

"awesome". things like that.

so all morning long i'm daydreaming about this. hordes of goats. paths of goat destruction. etc.

celebutantes waking to find their world a wasteland- and goats maliciously nipping at the hired help, who in vain beat at them with broomsticks and garden hoses-stuff like that.
The fuckers are taking taking over!

The reality of this, however, is nowhere near as cool as i imagined.

evidently, when the news anchor said "Downtown LA" , what he meant to say was "A two and a half acre lot in downtown L.A."

The promo also failed to mention that the goats are there ON PURPOSE- a greener method of clearing land. no motors, etc. Which is awesome and all. but i'm still real disappointed.

left with nothing but this god damned impending math quiz to worry about.
but there is also this.

ANXIETY

SUCCESS!

2008-09-08T07:54:00.000-07:00

tattoos and school books

photo by abbey sarver

Unfinishable doodle

2008-09-05T07:40:00.000-07:00

wanna collaborate?
what i mean to say is i give you this in real life and you finish it and keep it AS YOUR OWN STUFF!

friday, last kayaking maybe of summer (wait it's fall)because instead of rivers i'm going to have to spend my free time in "tech centers" or "facebook labs" or whatever

also out there not paddlin anymore thinking to myself i need a new outlook on shit feelin like those dudes in the movies who are lookin for a new outlook on shit.

then saw an abandoned and half-inflated raft washed ashore and started daydreaming about dead or missing rafters which was a drag. i wonder how many day-trips this has utterly ruined.

little old things

2008-09-01T05:44:00.000-07:00

because my thinking gland can't keep up with my misfiring sentiment nodes. meaning artlessness and e-dentity crisis.

I AM UNCLE GEORGE

2008-08-31T12:32:00.000-07:00

haunting my own house in a weird way
(it's something sort of like half a dish of melty ice cream in the sink?)
gloomy i guess, but there's a mutual sort of affection i think. between myself and it.
un-judging witnesses to one another?
if there were a better phrase to use than, "this is probably because of the enormous quantity of 'psychic energy' that i've deposited there", i would use it. because in this way it just sounds plum crazy.
maybe it's better to say something like, "it feels like home".
oh well. if nothing else it's a nice theater for daydreams.
also it's where i make my coffee and people send me things telling me that i owe them money.

WHERE IS ART? gone the way of my attention span

"time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana"

abbey sarver write keith bush biography

2008-08-29T21:11:00.001-07:00

keith was born a twin. which always will ground him in the human spirit, despite how misanthropic and jaded he may become. he always believe his twin brother to be better than he but does never know how artistic genius runs rampant in his drunken my-dad-bought-you-this-ikea-desk (in lynnewood gardens none the fucking less) VEINS.

i mean seriously, his bother just plays Frisbee. (good guy still in all)

artistic must be defined in this day in age, so it must be. keith is artistic genius in that you tell this boy/man to draw you a drunken octapus william s. burroughs with his limbs cut off and sewn back on by fucking Louise Bourgeois , and fair enough he will draw it best enough that you agree to it upon your skin for ever etenity. (tattoo?)

if you have aversion to the idea of TATTOO do not be discouraged, mister? you may keep the napkin he drew for you of the future existence of yourself. that is remarkably, ON THE BUTTON???

WHAT

he will draw your tattoo and take pride in it, moreso than an A+ in 2D Design at Tyler School of Art (where i may take my goddamn pride, dumb), or perhaps even MICA or whatevs is number one right now, doesn't fucking matter because he will be the best at cartoonin and chillin and bffin, that should he ever even get accepted to these prestigous art schools, he will never graduate, because his mind is too far and in between.

perhaps he should be sailing. or being your best friend. saying that school is not a good choice is not at all AT ALL a bad thing.. he simply is his own. artist genius and all, etc and etc.

its getting pretty damp out there, abbey

WWTVD?

2008-08-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

lives as: tragicomic studies in novelty and romance.

cultivation and maintenance of "relationshams"

here is a picture of god.

TU

2008-08-21T08:24:00.001-07:00

O' No!

2008-08-19T08:25:00.001-07:00

i bought a vaccuum and not a tattoo.

then i found this on the INTERNET:

scratchboards

2008-08-17T08:41:00.001-07:00

i think therefore i am anxious

2008-06-17T04:55:00.001-07:00

if memory serves: receiving a lesson on the benefits of stainless steel in ship building. (memorial day weekend)

is that not appealin'? it's that summer feelin'

2008-06-02T05:40:00.000-07:00

what i mean to say is, i think i'm getting lazy

ladies

2008-05-15T14:59:00.001-07:00

Allegory of (for?) Winter

2008-05-14T06:46:00.001-07:00

as seen from spring